A puzzle that could never be worked out

That was just a story. But for me it’s a never ending one. I know that wouldn’t be happening again but I just wanna think it over and over again. I had a slight chance to see you not belonging to me anymore. It hurts to see you with another one and it much more hurts to imagine that you were happy together. That’s my regret that I could not grab the chance to win it over or I think that I can do it like … anytime. It was like shock to me when I get to know that you are of the other. But I just could not tell the truth and open to you just like you did not. I think we both pretended that it was only a coincidence although we realized that it is really systematically and romantically born. Then we made our mind to forget everything and end up. It’s not what I wished and it’s not what you have been waiting for.
Honey can never be bitter. But that honey was forced to mix with the others to sacrifice itself then turn into one I have never ever seen before , it was short time but huge amount of remembering were accidentally created by you and by me or let’s just say by us (not any more). I still have to look back what you have cared me whenever it tickles me out. But we’ve been very far away. And hoping to make it again, you don’t start and I don’t launch to recreate it.
There is a tiny layer between love and hate. But the fact that you could not have any connection with me could not make me penetrate and make me arrive to other side of layer. The things remembered are just pulling me back to stay where we have stayed. The feelings were just emotional not knowing ourselves. We just had it and we lost it.
You showed your eyes just for a lighting second and I could grab it. But it was too late to represent what I’ve looked for and what I’ve found. Then you restore it but I see it beating to jump out of the chest. It’s me longing for it. It’s me trying to look for something to replace it. But so far nothing can fix.